In the moment
The concept of living in the moment carries such a wide range of cliches you almost need a bunch of cliches to define it…
I have recently been in contact with multiple individuals who are facing death in short terms. Not as short as struck by lightning or hit by a bus but months or less, or maybe more…
To know and not know is big. There is the grief of having lost control of the fight for life in the midst of being consumed by the looming shadow of certainty that brings crashing moments of category 9 landfalls of emotions and realities of bodily functions and losses of control of all of the above. When fight or flight become something so consuming and the body refuses to accommodate either, the fabric of hope is shredded by its own shadow.
To me on the outside I wish to offer hope, not for the life fairies to come make it all better, but for the moments to be the best they can be. There is a paradox here though. The raw anguish of facing your end is not transferable. The synaptic universe we each dwell in is unique to each of us. Nobody can know our wholeness and nobody can translate our conversation within to the outside world
I think the concept of the stages of grief in general terms are but the life notes for Dummies until we are faced with the loss of our own being one function at a time.
The difference between the people I am close to are worlds apart. One is a woman in her 80s who has been alone since her 40s and is best known for being difficult to get along with.
The other is a young man with a wonder wife and son and great friends and family.
The woman is in a nursing home and roller coasts through thinking they are trying to kill her through wondering what she has done for God to punish her like this.
The young man is at home with family and hospice.
I do wish I could reach out to the life fairies to make it all better!